Your Z Coil sandals are freaking me out

September 24th, 2009 § 20

sidewinder

Let me state, for the record, I am not fan of Z Coil shoes nor sandals in general. You have joined the two with my most feared most hated persona, the hippie.

I am sure you are a nice guy as most of the people I work with are, but dude! You are over 6 feet tall and are at the very least 300 pounds.

To top it all of you kind of lope when you walk. It is a very odd gate like that of a drunken Sasquatch. You may have back problems, maybe that is why you wear them but I have to tell you they don’t complement the tie-dyed shirt that you made in the late 90’s when you were 30 pounds lighter. Your yellow-white pony tail seems to bob back and forth as you trod the halls with the dexterity of the giant trolls that attacked Helm’s Deep.

Sir, I mean you no ill will and am just curious why you choose to wear the fanny pack of footwear.

Rock on you crazy hippie.

Shine on you crazy diamond.

§ 20 Responses to “Your Z Coil sandals are freaking me out”

  • Neal says:

    From what I’ve heard, those shoes serve their purpose to those who “need” them, be it pro-basketball players or really heavy people with pony-tails.

    It’s the anti Crocs stigma that I just don’t get. Sure they are a wide molded piece of plastic that people try to pass it off as a shoe when its not.

    People may not sway me otherwise but I have not come across a shoe/sandal that provide the comfort of those shows. Just like the spring shoes, Crocs are horrendous to some and a miracle to others.

  • Wow Chris–you’ve gone minimalist. I like it. I can see that guy–especially the “yellow-white ponytail.” Ugh–I hate yellow-white ponytails. Also, I hate crocs. I haven’t seen anyone actually wearing those spring-loaded shoes. Do they make you run faster and jump higher like my Keds did when I was a kid?

  • sam says:

    I find your ideas intriguing and I would love to subscribe to your newsletter.

    I haven’t seen the Z coil sandals, but I have seen the regular z coil ones. They are hideous. If I had to wear them, I would paint some god-awful colors like pink and green, since they look awful either way.

    Crocs are just ugly period. I think the company may go bankrupt; they expanded too fast, too soon. Oh well.

  • rassles says:

    I think they’re fucking hilarious, and I’d like more people to wear them so I know who to stay away from.

  • Sack Posset says:

    What the fuck are they? We have nothing of the kind here in Yorkshire. WITCHCRAFT!

  • Thanatos says:

    Gotta say, these “z coils” are moderately better than crocs with those fuzzy ankle warmers. Besides I picture myself jumping like tigger with these. Am I on the hatelist?

  • For godsake don’t encourage them!!

    Shine on, indeed.

    Not.

  • moooooog35 says:

    Wait…are you saying I DON’T look like a superhero?!

    Shit.

    I guess that explains all the people trying to sell me hemp.

  • LittleRedHead says:

    Hehehehe I always thought Tigger from Winnie the Pooh would like those shoes. “Bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy fun fun fun fun fun! The wonderful thing about Tiggers is that I’m the only one!” LOL I love Tigger. I think of him every time I see those shoes.

  • Andy Leyshon says:

    WTF are those. They’re so stupid they’re going to go huge with the pretentious wankers in Cape Town.
    Anybody wanna make a quick million, just import a container full, open a shop at the the upmarket and trendy Waterfront, then get me to take some pics with hot chicks and guys wearing them at an exclusive venue, instant street cred.
    Done deal, instant millionare. Easy…

    P.S. Gonna start my day at 5.30 with your site, had the best day ever today after discovering it at the same time this morning… Thank you Chris, you’re a legend.
    Oh and not forgetting thanks to StumbleUpon for finding you for me as I can’t remember doing it cos I must have been still pissed from partying on Sunday afternoon/evening…

  • Sam says:

    There were no trolls at Helm’s Deep. They were Uruk-Hai. That is all.

  • Alex says:

    I will continue to shine on, thank you.

  • sadiemcfadie says:

    Those are truly heinous. But I submit the following:

    http://designhouse147.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/toeshoes.jpg

    My friend wears them to work at a real job.

  • Chris says:

    I now question your fake internet friendship

  • Diane says:

    I know that they’re supposed to be for your back and all, but they do have a closed version of the shoe so you don’t look like such a dumbass with your spring hanging out, and yet no one seems to want to buy those…

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