You are a very nice guy. Of all the dentists I have gone to, your office is the most comfortable. Whether it is your always pleasant staff or the genuine warmth that you show when you great your patients you make my least favorite place bearable.
You are always efficient, dare I say speedy when you need to drill or perform some other unpleasant procedure. I get the sense that you know its an uncomfortable situation and you wish to make it as fast and painless for me and your other patients.
That was, until Wednesday.
You started with a Novocaine shot as usual and then the humming began. You always hum to the Muzak that plays in your office. Usually no big deal, I have even heard you whistle a few times.
I don’t recall if this song was playing at the time or if it was just a tune you may have heard a few moments earlier but when a man in a mask is 2 inches from your face humming “Feel like making love” I tend to freak out. There are many things that will start the launch sequence on one of my freak outs and I thought I was aware off all of them.
You found a new one.
After a few seconds the humming subsided and I felt a bit more calm. That’s when the whistling started. I was hopped up on Novocain and full of the usual phobias that come with people poking the nerves in my mouth. My head was swirling as clouds of tooth dust flew past me and all of these strange dental instruments were going in and out of my field of vision.
As soon as it started it stopped.
You told me I was done and would be numb for a bit and I should schedule my next appointment with the young lady at the desk. On the way to front desk I stopped in the restroom to collect myself before facing your secretary. I splashed water on my face and washed my hands and as I looked for a paper towel your saving grace appeared.
Cloth towels! Dozens of them, all neatly packed into wicker gift basket adjacent to the sink. I looked around for a paper towel as these are almost certainly for decoration. None, nada! This was it. These are for customers.
Dear reader, do you know the trouble one has to go through to refill a basket like this?
So Mr. Dentist I doff my cap to you! You are a goodly fellow well met and have repaired any damage you might have done with your humming.
I’ll see you on the 15th at 10:30.
Twitter
Facebook
RSS
StumbleUpon
There’s nothing like a cloth towel to make up for your dentist copping a feel. I know I always forgive my dentist after wiping my butt with one of his plush hand clothes.
That’s hilarious! I hate dentists, although last month I went to one and enjoyed it, so it just may be a new thing, good dentists. I’m sure glad mine didn’t hum though, woulda drove me nutso!
You made my day with your post about your dentist. I am emphatically not an anti-dentite, but emphatically am a sniveling coward when it comes to doing business with one. I usually pay extra for IV anesthesia–great buzz and then I go home and sleep the sleep of the just. I only wish your dentist was close enough to patronize.
Thanks for the amusing post!
That was hilarious. I don’t enjoy the dentist either, but give me a cloth towel, and I’m all your’s!
Lucky for you he wasn’t your proctologist.
Is he perchance opening a hotel?
A dentist visit seems to bring out all the insecurities we have about the safety of our physical beings and the possible pyschological damage we know will be done to our psyches if that drill so much as touches the air one inch from our left upper molar. I went so far as to answer the following when my new dentist asked me “Is there anything special I need to know” during his “getting to know your teeth” portion of my first visit: I told him, Yes, if you hurt me, I’ll kick you. any other time it would have been a joke but I was dead serious, i’m scared of the ALL dentists.
And I thought MY dentist was the only one.
I was in for a root canal (YAY!), was high on nitrous and listening to my dentist sing “Don’tcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me…”
Clearly he thought I was out.
*shutters*