So I have a scar!
So what?
Its on the back of my head and 4 inches long, big deal.
You wanna fight about it?
It’s not the usual scar that is thin and flush to the skin, it’s raised up a few millimeters and a few millimeters thick, big deal.
Its flanked by another scar that resembles a horizontal half-moon, no big woop.
It’s from and injury that left me blind in one eye (not like the blind sheik that we see on TV with the crazy milky eye), deaf in one ear and dare I say a tad gimpy. Not to get all “My left foot” on ya but I find myself stronger, a bit more appreciative of life but I have zero patience for jackassery(unless I am the instigator and then its all good).
But I digress, we are not hear to talk about my physical condition, we are here so that I might regale you with tales of my scar (which oddly looks like a relief map of the lower Nile), or should I say Scaint.
Oh the mighty Scaint, object of legend, lore and the best one-liners of my past 15 years. I wish I could claim credit for the name but that goes to an ex-girlfriend that ran her hands over the scar and joyfully bellowed “scar, no taint, no Scaint”. After I would get my hair cut she would swoop in and gently run her hands over the back of my head and purr “freshly shorn scaint”. There is something comforting and dare I say sexy about your girlfriend finding joy in a physical abnormality of which you are embarrassed.
If I know you or have at least talked to you enough to say hello I have no problem with you asking what happened or how I came about Scaint ownership. It is the people behind me in line,at the store, or just walking behind me anywhere that deem it necessary to comment that active the launch sequence on my sarcasm. Please understand that after the first few hundred comments I became adept at telling those who are truly curious from those that ask from a snarky or malicious manner.
The comments I get are usually in the line at the store and always stated in a snarky manner. The comments have different verbiage but amount to the same question, how did that happen. I even had a few people ask if I knew that I had a big scar on the back of my head.
I have a bag of about 10 replies I draw from and I tend to mix them up as the setting or mental faculties of the asker calls for.
Usually I just say its from an old ninja injury.
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Ninja injury? Don’t you mean…
NINJURY?
Ohhhhhhhhhhh I kill myself.
You rock my face off!
Oh I bet your replies are good. I think if someone asked me if I knew I had a scar I would have to say, really, no really, is there something there? Kind of when I pretend I don’t know what the internet is when TimeWarner calls to get me to switch to their dsl.
So, uh, Chris, did you know you have something on the back of your head?
Ps. I love that gf, even if she’s an ex. When someone loves a part of you that you loathe it’seasier to see it yourself.
Its not that I loath it, I actually wear it with pride but it took me a long time to get there.
It must have been a really whack Ninja if you survived the ordeal. I thought they were trained to kill all of their enemies.
I have skills
Was it Chuck Norris in a ninja suit? Just curious.
When does one of my stories not have Chuck in there somewhere?
About those folks who ask if you know you have a scar on the back of your head? Do you ever just go along with it and act all surprised? Shocked? Go all nuts and blame them for it?
I think that would be great.
I also think your ex-girlfriend is fabulous.
She was pretty awesome, Rassles reminds me of her greatly
There is something comforting and dare I say sexy about your girlfriend finding joy in a physical abnormality of which you are embarrassed. – Fuck yeah. I have my own scars, and a guy who embraces them is rewarded.
I like the new layout on here. I clicked over here before but got confused by the set up and navigation. But I’m back and adding you to my reader. I know you feel all privileged about that. Or not.
Gwen I hear what you are saying, and yes you can be my girlfriend.
The year I was bald I never got used to the stares from people. I don’t know which was worse…the quick look-aways or the openly curious stares. Definitely changes the way you view others.
HIF, People are people so why should it be……
After a bit I just stopped caring and in some cases started yelling ” so what, at least I have a huge penis”.
I really would have liked to have seen a list of your responses.
Also, not to be a bitch, but I preferred your old template.
LB, I like the old template as well but this one has slidey doo dads! Doo dads I say. Im gonna make the text bigger and not as blindingly white.
As far as the list of my retorts my fav three are
1. It was a bad gardening accident.
2. Got that in the Jart finals at the 2000 Olympics.
3. Damn robots
Scaint nuttin’ but a thang…..
most of my scars have an interesting story, so I don’t have to invent. I have this one that is over a foot long, in a U shape where I had 4 operations, related to my military disability. Unfortunately the story for that one is that I was carrying something too heavy. I really have to make up a good lie for it.
I have a 4 inch scar on my right shoulder and a 6 inch screw in my arm. Why I have that is a boring story.
Got any ideas for a better more exotic answer I can give people??
Suburban: “I rolled my tractor in high school.”
That actually happened to an uncle of mine.
I love scars. On me, and other people. I have a lot of them. And I love each and everyone of them.
Does that make me weird? Well….weirder?
Wanna fight about me weirdness?
“Wanna fight about me weirdness?” You sound like a deranged leprechaun.
I like that!
Oops.
I’m dumb. And this is exactly why I need to proof read shit before I post it.
That wasnt supposed to say “Wanna fight about me weirdness?”.
It was supposed to say “Wanna fight about MY weirdness?”
I am Irish though. So it kinda makes sense.
I liked it he way you posted
I know I’m late to the party, but I had fun at Disney World with this topic. Our son was seven months old and had just undergone a “cranial vault reconstruction,” which is exactly what it sounds like it is. The scar/stitches ran from ear to ear over the top of his head. A lady in line behind me said, “Oh! What happened??”
My reply?
“Rock climbing accident.”
I think she might have thrown up a little.
Thats the most awesome thing I have heard today!
lol@rock climbing accident.
I had a burn on my arm from a job at McD’s when I was 17…the fry basket…but i used to tell people it was from the electric fence when i broke out of jail. ha!
Ha, awesome!
I have one scar. Only one little one on my chin. I was roller skating and fell on my face. 9 teeth needed capping 1 tooth got a root canal and another was removed in 8 different pieces. I got 7 stitches in my chin. I joke about it and tell people I tried to skate on my face.
My boyfriend has several scars and much more interesting stories than mine. My favorite scar (or story anyway) of his is a tiny little one on his neck. His ex got mad at him after he caught her in bed with his 2 best friends and stabbed him in the neck with an ice pick.