Lesson372

So I have a scar!

So what?

Its on the back of my head and 4 inches long, big deal.

You wanna fight about it?

It’s not the usual scar that is thin and flush to the skin, it’s raised up a few millimeters and  a few millimeters thick, big deal.

Its flanked by another scar that resembles a horizontal half-moon, no big woop.

It’s from and injury that left me blind in one eye (not like the blind sheik that we see on TV with the crazy milky eye), deaf in one ear and dare I say a tad gimpy. Not to get all “My left foot” on ya but I find myself stronger, a bit more appreciative of life but I have zero patience for jackassery(unless I am the instigator and then its all good).

But I digress, we are not hear to talk about my physical condition, we are here so that I might regale you with tales of my scar (which oddly looks like a relief map of the lower Nile), or should I say Scaint.

Oh the mighty Scaint, object of legend, lore and the best one-liners of my past 15 years. I wish I could claim credit for the name but that goes to an ex-girlfriend that ran her hands over the scar and joyfully bellowed “scar, no taint, no Scaint”. After I would get my hair cut she would swoop in and gently run her hands over the back of my head and purr “freshly shorn scaint”. There is something comforting and dare I say sexy about your girlfriend finding joy in a physical abnormality of which you are embarrassed.

If I know you or have at least talked to you enough to say hello I have no problem with you asking what happened or how I came about Scaint ownership. It is the people behind me in line,at the store, or just walking behind me anywhere that deem it necessary to comment that active the launch sequence on my sarcasm. Please understand that after the first few hundred comments I became adept at telling those who are truly curious from those that ask from a snarky or malicious manner.

The comments I get are usually in the line at the store and always stated in a snarky manner. The comments have different verbiage but amount to the same question, how did that happen. I even had a few people ask if I knew that I had a big scar on the back of my head.

I have a bag of about 10 replies I draw from and I tend to mix them up as the setting or mental faculties of the asker calls for.

Usually I just say its from an old ninja injury.