When I lived in Spokane a few years ago I ran this ad as a goof. I still get replies, 213 so far. To answer your questions I never answered any replies as most freaked me out and yes I am a total tool.
——–
I will give you what no other can.
A paper hat!
Thats right ladies your own paper hat. I will make it for you out of that days paper. If you wish I can adorn it with frilly things and semi precious stones.
Wanna be a sexy pirate? Can do.
Wanna be a French emperor? No problem
A sweet cowgirl? I can make that happen.
Paper hat baby!
Unlock that free wheeling child in you with a paper hat. Quantities are limited, I think the Spokesman only puts out a thousand a day so get yours.
I come with the paper hat too.
Mid thirties? Yep
Average looking? As average as it gets
HWP? A few extra pounds
Single? You got it, women wont touch me
Ever married? See above
Have hair? More than others but spread out across my body so that no one part gets more than the other parts
Have teeth? All 68
Act now and I will build you a fort made from couch cushions.
This is a 30 day trial offer. If you decide, for any reason, not to keep me keep the paper hat as my gift to you.
Twitter
Facebook
RSS
StumbleUpon
I wanna be a sexy pirate.
Duh!
I think it’s genius;)
I would have TOTALLY answered your ad!
Well, it gets points for originality. PLUS, your sentences are actually readable– which is far, far more than can be said for a lot of the singles’ posts I’ve seen humor bloggers blog about.
@wanna, ty
@Julie, I actually got some cool replies and have one lady realy pissed that I wont give her a hat
@Jenn, I was aiming for coherent
You should have taken them up on it.
I mean, you were worried about crazy women?
ALL women are crazy.
Just go for it.
that is great, I can only imagine some of the replies
I would like a “Princess of the Forest” hat please.
Thank you!
@Margo, I have no idea what that would look like but, why not
I am still giggling… Thanks!
)
I’m not really a hat kinda girl, but the cushion fort is tempting.
The cushion fort is always the closer.
Hilarious. Teeth “All 68″. Lol. You’re obviously holding out on the Tooth Fairy.
I can understand the irresistibleness. You had me at couch cushion fort.
Its always comes back to the cushion fort, I think its a nesting thing.
shame your not in spokane anymore.
I will be back in a few years
You have to be the funniest person I have ever met!… well not really met… I guess… Can you make me a cowgirl hat? I’ve already got the boots and the short jean skirt to match it
You charmer you. Did this make it to the best of CL?
Not sure as I don’t know what that is. Ill say yes though.
This deserves and internet high-five. Place your hand on the screen.
But in all seriousness, do you supply the couch cushions?
I have a vast collection, so yes.
I always wanted to run the ad
“Mistress wanted, no experience necessary, will train.”
This is great! I love the way you sink the hook and reel em in. Doesn’t get any better than paper hats and couch cushion forts in my world.
i want a “crazy cat lady” hat…. =D great post…. you should really reply to some of them.. a guy with a great sense of humor is better then anything.. well.. almost anything. better then most things!
TY for the kind words
I saw this on stumble. Absolutely adorable!
You are most kind
I hope you answered some of those replies. Funny is adorable and will usually get a woman looking and thinking.