It has been very warm the last few days. All the compacted snow that is middle of the street is slowly turning to slush. My Nemesis and I haven’t dueled for a while. There’s just no snow.
At midday I drive to Costco to get my favorite treat, a hotdog.
As I return my eyes widen as I witness him shoveling the ice from the street directly in front of his house . WTF? Nobody does this, its stupid and just plain wrong. I cant imagine, in my wildest dreams doing something so silly and truly odd. Standing in the middle of the street on shoveling ice and slush while avoiding the odd car that might pass. Its the kinda thing that brings the police and gets you a 72 hour vacation at the state hospital. Have I driven him to this? Have my taunts and stink eyes pushed him over the edge?
I watch him , relishing the state of dementia that I have seemed to unleashed upon him. I start to feel bad, but then I pick up Sun Tzu’s “the art of war” and keep reading. Even 13th century Chinese warfare can help me.
Today was a victory, though a sad one a victory non the less.
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What’s up man?
I ‘Stumbled Upon’ your site. Nice work – real funny stuff.
You might like my site – I write a similar type of hodgepodge nonsense at unpaidentertainer.com. Check it out if you care to.
I will throw a link to your site up on my blogroll – I am sure anyone who likes my work will appreciate yours.
Later
TY for the kind words
Would you like to come over and watch Top Gear with me and my husband, not because we are particularly interested in motors but because we get tickled when they call hoods and trunks “bonnets” and “boots” and make aluminum sound like baddass alien chemical warfare material?
Its not gonna turn into some weird swinger thing is it?
Now that you mention it…
What would be so weird about it? You’re a dude, he’s a dude, heck maybe I’m a dude too. You never know unless you try. We could watch the NatGeo if you’re not fond of BBC (I just finished a nature program about beavers that was chock full of “That’s what she said” moments). I also have Uno Hearts but my husband won’t play it with me. He must be a hippie communist if he doesn’t want to play Uno Hearts. I’ve always had a suspicion…
Just joshing you! Do people still say that? If not, I’m bringing it back. It’s hard to know the cool new things to say when you’re a hermit and spend a great deal of time with wiener dogs whose vernacular is akin to lolcats.
You are weird, me likee!
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
Good day, Sir! I will be calling upon you again soon.
Um, why have none of these shown up in my reader? Horseshit. Horseshit, I tell you. This does not make me feel serene and inscrutable, as Sun Tzu would suggest.
But you are more feisty and cute like a small woodland creature.
You’re writing again. I thought you’d choked on a pretzel or something.
You would like that wouldn’t you?
Would make an awesome headline.