Dear space creatures,
I pen this missive in the case that I am ever abducted. I do not wish to infringe on your rights to abduct humans I only wish to set down a few ground rules.
1. No probing of any kind!
2. If you feel the need to abduct me, call first. I will go willingly but I don’t want to be scared by a late night visit. Any time after 10 am till let’s say 7 pm.
3.If you abduct me before dinner you have to feed me. Not to be cheap but if you can afford a cool space ship you can afford quarter pounder with cheese (extra pickles please).
4. If you are going to do some medical experiments on me I ask that you treat a few ailments that I have (bad knee, lower back pain and the like).
5. No over nighters! I need at least 8 hours of sleep or I’m grumpy the next day.
6. No alien/human breeding scenarios. I don’t need to explain to the wife that part of my check goes to support some kid on the Androm13 home planet.
7. The only thing that I ask in exchange for participating in your experiments is that I leave with a super power of some kind.
As long as you heed these rules I’m ok with the abduction.
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I guess i am to old to get it.
Thanks for the read though
I just want to lay out the ground rules, thats all
I totally get it, great ground rules. I would love a super power, I want to be able to fly, that’s my number 1 choice. The second is to shoot fire balls from my hands.
I like your blog!
“Fire balls” was my nickname in college. It involved a weird chemistry experiment.
Can I repeat rule no.1 … NO PROBING.
Thank you.
Austrian poofs know well, “it is better to probe than to be probed.” Ball peen hammers can be hard on your fire balls. Just some thoughts that were implanted during my last abduction. I share my love.
Maybe they should pay you. Perhaps with a hooker afterwards or something like that.
These comments. *applause*
i guess its ok if they eat you
”
I’m worried that when the aliens realize there’s no horse in horse radish that we’re fucked.” -drinkingfortwo.net