Just give me the hotdog!

March 19th, 2009 § 10

Let me start this post by saying what I would normally say if I had heard this title.

THATS WHAT SHE SAID!

I digress.

It is for you, Costco hot-dogs, that I endure the scorn and hatred of the girls at the Costco snack center.

It is for you that I endure the looks of disgust and contempt.

This is my tale. My tale of the lengths I will go to to enjoy your buttery goodness. Your tasty hotdoggedness. (I made that word up)

I go to Costco once a week. I end my shopping with a lovely hot dog. Every time its always the same scornful look from behind the counter.
I see all the dogs in their hot dog sauna, so shiny and happy looking. Just waiting to be consumed in all their processed glory.
If you had a tip jar I would gladly tip you as to maybe side step this nasty dance we do. It is always the same. I am really a very nice fellow, I just have this monkey or should I say hotdog on my back.
The girl behind the counter always looks at me with disdain, as if to say “You fat pig, you again. Cant get enough of the hot dogs?”
It doesn’t matter which girl it is always the same.
I took my nephew last week and thought I’d have him buy the dog so that I might stay out of the line of the stink eye you always give me. Not this time, you saw me and his resemblance to me and it was on.

I went in today, a bit scared and with visions of hotdoggery in my head.I went to the counter you asked “What”, not what I would like but “What”.

I snapped.

I told you, within earshot of all those within 10 feet, hot dogs are American. I asked you if you could think of any other food, besides apple pie, that was more patriotic. For some reason at that point I told you that if I don’t get one the terrorists will win.The people around me stood in a mixture of unbelief and horror. A few wanted to cheer, I could sense it. Those were the people who’s love of the dog is only matched by the fear of the judgment you cast around like so much churro sugar.

I want a churro as well.

I am sorry for playing the the patriotism card, I just want that damned dog.

Why in the name of Mohamed’s mustache wax do you have to make it so hard?

§ 10 Responses to “Just give me the hotdog!”

  • oh oh I <3 Costco hot dogs. now i cant eat them and it makes me all sad :(

    god how i miss my costco hot dogs.

  • Chris says:

    (Thats what she said)

    Sorry

  • Jetson2833 says:

    You really are my HERO…You nailed it once again…love ya…always got your back my friend…always…

    xxoxo,
    Judith the Jetson Girl

  • Chris says:

    TY for the complement, your standards are way too low

  • Marissa says:

    I don’t understand why cashiers and their ilk have to judge. I’m a Chapstick addict, so I buy them 9 at a time. The cashier at Target goes, “Wow, you must have really chapped lips!.” Nnnoooo, because these are preventive measures for that. duh.

  • surveygirl46 says:

    All that for a DOG….and then you didn’t even get to enjoy it…churros just don’t do the trick do they?

  • lola says:

    Hot dogs are from Frankfurt, Germany actually.

  • orange-ish says:

    Hot Dogs are amazing. They’re way up there with midnight trips to IHOP.

  • N2 says:

    Actually the hot dog is not a german sausage anymore than pizza is italian. Both were conjured up in the good ol’ USofA by immigrants hoping to make something unique that would delight the tastes of americans.

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