Dear Human Resources representative, I apologize that I made that mistake. It was a solar flare that disrupted the earth’s magnetic field and thereby slightly altering my sense of north and south. I have already checked with NOAA and have the data to prove as much.

That’s the only excuse I have for walking into the woman’s bathroom. Either that or I am just a total tool with ADD and a poor grasp on spacial recognition.

As noted before, I always look for a urinal as I enter the room just to make sure it is the right bathroom. I know myself well enough to guard against these mistakes. I walked in, looked to my left and saw mirrors and sinks, aww shit. Until now I had dodged this bullet for a year, my track record was unblemished.

I looked across the room as I slowly backed out and saw you exiting a stall, I was just waiting for you to scream and throw a fit. You shocked me with your coolness and the way that you said ” I think one of us is in the wrong room” without missing a beat. I answered back “Well that machine is selling tampons so I think it’s me”.

I bid you good day and walked back to my desk where a half dozen of my co-workers saw me walk in and wanted to query me about why I would do such a thing. I chose not to tell them that  I am absent minded and just made a mistake instead I told the I was fed up with woman’s lib and if they wanted to be treated like a man I was gonna use their bathroom.

Ladies, I am sorry that I breached the perimeter of your sanctum sanctorum, I meant no harm.

Thank you for being cool and funny about it.