I should have known better. I only had one item to get, I knew it was close to the cash register and I would get out of there relatively unscathed.
Effing Walmart!
I wasn’t going to fight rush hour traffic just to go to the real-people store, I just needed a case of Diet Coke.
I walked in and was immediately hit with the familiar smell of dirt, BO and fat. I was 10 seconds in and had my Coke and was in line. I checked my 6 for carnies and the ambulatory half-dead that inhabit this place, nada. I was out in less than 3 minutes.
I walked to the far corner of the parking lot where I always park, this gives me 3 clear egress points where I have no traffic to impede my quick get away.
I see a car has parked next to me. Was it a nice car parked there so it remained unmolested by the meth-addled denizens of this low priced nether world? No, it was a ford POS with the windows rolled up and dog tied to the wheel.
It is a very warm 97 degrees out today, not bad for a dog laying in the shade but in a car with the windows rolled up it,s about 120 degrees. The dog is panting and howling as it scrapes the widows. There is no one coming soon and judging by the fact that car wasn’t here 4 minutes ago and now is, I thought the owner might be in Walmart for a while.
There is shade in the spot directly in front of the car and I look inside the car to see if its a stick. I could pop it neutral and push it to the shade, no such luck. I get in my car, throw it in reverses and pull up to the rear bumper of the POS. I give it a little gas, no good, I drop the Road Warrior (really a 2000 Toyota Camry) into 2nd and punch it while playing the theme song from Cops in my head. I hit reverse again and the swing into the space next to the car. The tire marks that are left are heavy and black, and dare I say, totally boss!
I pull out my Mag light as I exit my car and smash his left rear window, the dog jumps a bit but is other wise happy about the fresh air. I walk around to the right side and, after a few hits, take care of the driver’s window. The odd thing here is that I didn’t break the window I just hit it a few times and it dropped into the door well. I gave the dog some water that I had, filled up the cup holders and then took the 64 oz soda I had with me and dumped it in the passenger seat. The liquid soaked through and the dog ate the ice.
The dog was now in the shade with proper ventilation and I had to run.
Sir, I am sorry that you will have to replace the widows but judging by the $2000 rims and wheels that you have on a $800 car you might want to consider a new car instead.
Besides your whole tail light assembly is smashed all to hell.
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Great story! I can never understand why some people are so cruel to animals. Usually even people that hate other people like the innocence of some creature that is big hearted enough to think you deserve to have him sleep with you on the bed. I am glad you did that DOGGY DEFENDER!!!
You are my HERO!
Hey you’re a frigging legend.
Breaks my heart to see a dog mistreated.
I would of hung around and kicked the shit out of the a-hole.
I really want to think you actually did this, because then the Bruce Willis fantasy for me will be complete.
My mother and I were out shopping a couple of months ago and called the cops on some jackasses who had left their pup in their truck with the windows up in the sun on a hot day.
Yay, go you.
Assholes who leave their children/pets in vehicles during any type of dangerous weather deserve the mauling they get. I hope they werent going in for a pack of gum and running back out. Lol. Great story. JUSTICE!!!!!!!!
Haha, great story!
IT WAS YOU!!!!
i would done the same thing except why did you put the soda on the passenger side
I placed the ice there so that the dog could eat the ice but not have to sit in it
haha thats hilarious i would have loved to be there and see that… funtimes!
I sure hope you are just trolling BoofusX.
If not, please try and pay attention in school before you graduate the third grade. It might improve your spelling.
you is a rasist. you be all breakin’ peopul stuf like you all that and shit. What peopul doi wif they dog is they bizniss not chos. you best not be brakin’ my shit. i fuck you up you break my shit you cracker motherfucker.
Mom?
You are my hero. Fo shizzle!
Boofus. 1, you’re a double racist. I read this over and there were absolutely no racial markers, so why are you assuming the dog abuser was of a particular race, or that Chris was being racist? Also, you called him a cracker. You moron.
2, you TYPED that in ebonics. I have to say- I’m sincerely impressed. I’m not even joking. That takes some thought.
Chris, you are my hero. I’m a massage therapist- if you’re ever in Nebraska, write me and I will give you a free massage!
Is a Nebraska massage slang for something else?
I don’t even know you and I love you already! First because you kick ass for saving a helpless dog. Second because of your comment to the dumbass comment about you cracker motherfucker… “Mom?” Hilarious!!! Keep up the good citizen deeds and hopefully other people will follow!!
I really DO <3 you!
Aww, that’s what the restraining order says as well.
You could have called the cops, however, this was a desperate situation, and they would have done the same thing.
You were right in what you did. Thank you. You are a true hero.
egress…
You have got to be kidding!…
First, best story ever. Second, I hope it’s true. Lastly, I think boofus was comedy.
Ty and that did happen
I wouldn’t consider what you did the right thing, but at least you did SOMETHING. Lots of people wouldn’t bother. If you had no clue how long the dog had been there, in the sun, I’d say you should have yelled in walmart and asked who’s car it is (unless the dog looks dying), and given no response, do what you did. The thing is, you said it wasn’t there for even 4 minutes, so it was probably just a little warm at that point and not dangerously hot, so you could have done the legal thing and called the cops (and not tell them it had only been 4 minutes).
TiSi,
I had and idea of how long as the car wasnt there when I went in, and Im not going to track the ass hat down. I could call the cops but they would get all the smashing joy.
I’m so full of kudos to hand over to you, I don’t know what to do with myself. Chris, I bow and salute you at the same time. (It looks stupid, but my heart’s in the right place.)
THANK YOU.
SRSLY.
Thank you.
You did the right thing.
Thank you.
wow that is just awesome, however you should have then found the nearest pay phone so you could call the police, I hate to see what those people did when they got back to their car and see their windows smashed out because of their dog (even though it wasn’t really it’s fault)
I try not to call the cops after committing a crime.
If this isn’t a made up story then I think you should have taken the dog as well. It seems that the idgits that left it there will probably repeat the performance again one day.
If this story is real, I’m not so sure I’d be applauding you. I take my dog everywhere when I run errands. I have a remote-starter on the car, so the car stays running (keys out) and AC on. Trouble is the car is small and extremely quiet, so even sometimes I’m fooled into thinking it’s not running. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a do-gooder scowl at me or lecture me when they see the dog. Hello… the A/C is on and it’s cooler in the car than in the store. My point: all dogs in cars are not necessarily evil.
You’ve also effectively turned a dog LOOSE in a walmart parking lot and walked away. He’ll definitely stop panting when he gets run over by one of the idiot drivers. Now dog owner thinks dog was stolen, “learns” nothing.
Next time call the police. They (1) don’t necessarily smash the window in order to open the door and (2) won’t let Doggy loose and walk away in a crowded lot. And if the owners did indeed do something wrong, it’ll hold them accountable.
The dog was tied to the steering wheel, so he didn’t run off, obviously.
And I’m surprised your car hasn’t been stolen yet.
well tbh he did mention already that ‘he’ wanted the smashing joy lol and i dont blame you nice work on the shunting of the car tho most people just do thw window in and leave it at that but u went the whole 9 yards or well 9 foot maybe
9 feet is my limit, at 10 feet my apathy kicks in.
@ Cal, the dog was tied to the steering wheel
Chris, you rock. Plain and simple. I trained my dog to stay in the car, so she sits there on her throne in the back seat, all four windows open, she is totally comfortable, and at 80Lbs of big black dog, she’s my security system, too.
Calico clearly has reading comprehension problems and a superiority complex. Comment blindly without checking the facts… excellent work…
I like dogs, I hate stupid ppl and I love to smash things.
It was a good day.
I’m thinking you must have a lot of adoring women commenting on this blog.
You make me laugh, and you are eloquent. AND you rescue distressed animals in hot cars.
yup, you’re hot
TY for the kind words, I make up for the hotness by being lazy and generally antisocial.
Heidi, I looked up your IP and Salt Lake is one of my fav towns, so yes you may be my girlfriend.
why, thank you *blush*
GOOD FOR YOU!
Animal lover talking here! That was awsome! You are my hero. If it were me I would have taken the license plates number and the dog and left a sticky note on their windshield informing them that their dog was at the shelter and they were going to get a court notice for animal cruelty. I hate people like that.
You’ve inspired me – I used to just call the police but next time I may just take matters into my own hands like you – you absolutely rock!
Personally, I’d like to see them write an “eye for an eye” law so the abusers get done to them what they do to their animals – only fitting.
You’re a moron. I’m sorry, but you are in this instance. A dog whining inside a car IS NOT AN INDICATOR OF ABUSE. It’s not an indicator of anything in particular, because dogs whine over being left alone every single day, no matter how well they’re treated. How did you know this dog wasn’t whining because it’s owner/friend left him alone? That’s not mistreating an animal. But you assumed it was dying of thirst and broke someone’s window, quite possibly starving this dog because this person is now going to need to replace a window in what is likely his only mode of transportation. And don’t tell me “Oh he was obviously thirsty because he ate the ice”. No, have you ever actually dealt with dogs? I could drop a bucket of ice in front of my dog and he’d go nuts over it, and believe me, he’s not in want for anything.
People like you make me lose respect for people as a whole, because you’re turning up EVERYWHERE. I wish I could fix this guy’s window for him. If he’s driving a pos, it’s probably because it’s all he can afford. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover. Remember that one? Yeah a car is someone’s cover. My bf’s first car was a pos too with nice wheels and a lowering kit – it’s all he could afford first and then once he could afford more he played around with it.
Anyways, in summation – you’re a pretentious prick.
tl;dr
It kills me when I see dogs in peoples cars.. What I can’t understand is why can’t you leave your dog at home if you need to run your errands?? A couple of summers back there was a story on the news where a cop had his dogs because he left it in the car.. the crazy thing here is that the car and the A/C were on. So regardless of what some people think that doesn’t always mean that your dog is safe. Take you dog home first. So what if you have to back track are people really that lazy?
Chris you are a doggy savior and I don’t care what anyone says!
Love your blog!
*The cop had lost his dog*
excuse me
This is my favorite one.
TWSS
Why’d you smash (or whatever) the second window?
Symmetry
I never thought I would say this to another human being, but you are more awesome than Darth Vadar. True, Darth would have crushed this asshat’s larynx from the parking lot (just because he is in tune with the dark side does not mean he doesn’t love dogs) and that would have been way more awesome, but very cool nevertheless.
Cheers!
Sarah
Ty for your kind words but I dont want you to mistake my love of dogs with my love of smashing things.
It was about 50/50.
@Pissed. Go lock yourself in your car, windows up for 5 minutes in 95+ degree weather in full sunlight. And tell me you like it.
Douche. You must be a cat person.
Crappy car with expensive rims and a dog inside? Definitely mexicans.
Nice one, I’d have ‘rescued’ the dog too
If you break it off, the white ceramic part of a sparkplug can be thrown through a tempered glass window easily.
Noted
@Rob, actually any type of broken decent ceramic will work, not just spark plug ceramic…broken toilet is easier to acquire.
@Chris, I think I have a hetero man-crush….You fine sir are a bad ass of epic proportion!
As stated before, I am kinda a big deal. That being said I understand your man-crush. Let us never speak of it again! Go Vandals!
I am not sure I’d say you made the right decision. Poor judgment, I’d say, actually. The owner could’ve easily decided to leave the dog for 10 minutes while he went and got a few things, quite possibly including cold water for the dog. You say it was tied to the steering wheel, but not if it was loosely tied – Did you consider that it might still attempt to get out the window, and end up strangling itself? You said it could reach the ice in the passenger seat.
What you should’ve done was to go back in, and have the staff send out a message asking who the owner of the car/dog was, and have him move the car. For all you know, he was taking the dog on a trip to a forest/beach/whatever, and made a quick stop, to pick up a few things. Even in such heat, a dog would be able to make it in the heat, if the owner did indeed bring back cold water.
My dog, too, will jump and and howl if it sees someone walk by the car, as he is a very friendly dog – He wants to socialize with everyone. Also, you smashed the windows? Did you think that the dog might cut itself on the shards? What were you thinking? I’m sorry, but I think it was a pretty stupid thing to do. Really. You fucked some guy over big time on your ASSUMPTION that he was mistreating his dog. Had you called the police, I’m sure they’d have told you they’d not do something about a dog spending 4 minutes in a car. Jesus.
You seem to be really concerned about how tightly the dog was tied to the steering wheel but you’re completely ignoring the ramifications of the dog being tied there in the first place. I for one have NEVER seen a dog TIED to a steering wheel in a car that was completely locked, windows up, etc. Where was it going to go? What was it going to do? Clearly the dog is excitable, regarding its reaction to Chris, so the OWNER should have been concerned that it might strangle/ otherwise harm itself.
Get off your high horse. Vigilante justice is still justice. Way to be, Chris.
I accept your apology
I was cheering for you and the dog. Glad you didn’t get caught, wish you had taken the dog. All they want is love and not to be parked in the sun while their stupid owner shops. I’m putting a maglight in my purse, damn it.
And you really couldn’t think of a better way to handle the situation?
I’m 14 and I’ve done the very same thing (except I got caught, I didn’t have a getaway car), and upon my arrest my mom was questioning why I did it.
“It’s just a dog! It’s not worth you getting in trouble!” she kept telling me.
Guess what? It was totally worth it.
Was it her car?
I think that for most people, calling the cops would be the safest thing to do. If a person is 14, I would surely recommend that, rather than having Mom pay for a juvie attorney for her little sweetheart.
Actually, the case was dropped because there was no actual evidence that I did it.Which was very fortunate because we couldn’t afford an attorney. For future reference, yes, I actually recommend calling someone instead.
There seems to be a noted difference here between being an “animal lover” versus an actual “dog owner”. I would wager that none of the self-described animal lovers here are also dog owners, and your fantasies of vigilante justice and instant appraisals of an animal’s well-being sorely lack the objective view that actual experience entitles.
Your description indicated to me that this dog, like my own, suffers from separation anxiety. Although I would also give weight to the argument that this dog was extremely social and excited to see you. Having been through several owners, my otherwise well-behaved dog reacts with panic whenever we are parted. As soon as she is left alone in the house, she barks and whines until I return. This is a known behavioral problem in dogs – including those that are treated exceptionally well by their owners. These are the dogs that can destroy your house and actually harm themselves in your absence. http://www.cpvh.com/Articles/47.html
The problem with your own assumption is that it is almost entirely dependent on an anthropomorphic perspective, whereby you assume that a dog possesses the same human emotions and feelings that you do at the time. I am certainly not saying that a dog in that situation couldn’t suffer, but your account of events, and my actual experience, implies to me that you misinterpreted the dog’s behavior to serve your own ego.
If you actually cared more about this dog than you do about yourself, you could have chosen a number of avenues that were less destructive and dangerous to all parties. Your ignorance prevented you from even contemplating all the variables that might allow this situation to be, at the very least, morally ambiguous. The fact is, this person didn’t have to answer to you, a stranger in a Walmart parking lot. If you were demanding an answer from him, the least you could have done was a rudimentary investigation of facts before doling out your yellow-bellied punishment.
You lack such compassion for your fellow man that your love of animals can hardly compensate for it.
tldr
I like how much of a douchebag you are to put “tl;dr” on all the posts ramming you of your poor choices; as if you haven’t read them and nerd raged out.
Oh yeah, someone stumbled this shit. Enjoy the hate, retard.
I imagine you furiously masturbating as you wrote that.
Crate the bitch. Or dog, depending upon sex. A truck is not a dog crate.
You, sir, rock. Period.
Memo to the haters, in two parts: 1) Where I live, if you do thi8 and 911 is called: you have five minutes to get your stupid self out the store, or the deputy will break your window for you. 2) 97 degrees, rolled up windows? Go ask someone at your local ASPCA branch how long the dog’s got. You’ll be shocked at the response. Anyone leaving a dog in this position doesn’t deserve to have a dog. Period.
Great dane owner, for the record: My father raised dogs, and for 42 of my 44 years, there has ALWAYS been a dog (or 5) in my family. AGAIN: 97 degrees, closed windows? If you can’t do the math on that you shouldn’t have ANY dog, much less a great dane.
Chris, part of me wants to applaud your efforts; the other, more sensible part of me thinks you’re just as much of an ass-clown as the dog’s owner.
I witnessed the same scene myself last summer. Black dog in a black Grand Am. When I arrived, a crowd was already starting to gather. Not long after, one of us suggested calling the police; they arrived in under five minutes, and had the driver’s-side door unlocked in less than two. The dog was given fresh water, and handed over to the humane society. No word on the owner, but I expect the cop hung around to file charges.
I’m sure dispensing personal justice feels fantastic, chris; but come on. I was with you until you started jacking windows, and the whole soda thing was just above and beyond what was called for. I mean, you could have just fished some ice out for the dog. I just hope you don’t get upset when one day someone breaks your legs for accidentally parking in a handicap spot.
tl;dr — pics or it didn’t happen!
Dick, destruction of property is never a good thing. Judging people because they shop at a particular store and not somewhere else, is never a good thing. Try calling the cops next time. Since, apparently, you are too good to lower yourself to step into Walmart all over again.
My name is not Dick
Loved the story. George is absolutely right. All you have to do is look it up. Alot of damage dan be done in very little time in that kind of heat. within 10 minutes, the temperature inside a car can rise to 20 degrees higher than the outside air. Within half an hour, the car can get 34 degrees hotter. Within an hour, the temperature inside the car plateaus at 40-50 degrees hotter than the outside air. Cracking the windows has little effect on the temperature inside the car.
Loved the article but I loved the thread even more. Thanks Chris you are hilarious.
Yes I am. Recognize!
Seacrest out
If you took all the comments on this page and printed it out, it would stretch over 50 feet!
As a desert-dweller, seeing heat of up to 115+ degrees F on a regular basis during the summer, I hate to see dogs or kids in cars with the windows up. I wouldn’t do the whole breaking-and-entering thing, more of a dial-911 person myself, but still a good (if rather more of the “chaotic” rather than the “lawful” alignment) deed.
My dog thinks you are a pussy!
Pfft, cats > dogs any day anyways.
Congratulations, your judgment is as poorer than the person who locked the dog in the car in the first place, and you’re a pretentious douche on top of that! Well done, sir.
But is it as poorer than your grammar?
It certainly is.
Double-check your sentences, folks.
Commenters who evidently have a LOT of time on their hands: Dude, he called himself a tool with poor impulse control in the TITLE. Your outrage is kind of silly.
I salute you, sir. Accomplishing a random act of kindness and destruction of property at the same time – well done.
I like dogs more than people. Sad but true.
WHATTHE FUCK IS PKA
Project Kickass
lol possibly the best blog post Ive ever read. That punk got what he deserved.
Chris, you’re a douchebag.
tl:dr is the best you got?
Mom??
Awesome! I wish I could do the same!
Most excellent response to a bad situation. I too prefer dogs, cats, turtles . . . basically any animal to all but a tiny fraction of the people I have met. All the people who are hating on you should be glad it was you and not me who took care of the situation. I’d have broken the window, taken the dog, then torched the car with a molotov cocktail. If I had no gasoline to mix the cocktail, then at the least I would have slit all four tires and taken the rope the dog was tied with and attached it to the towing eyes on the Camry and ripped the steering wheel out of the vehicle.
I’m destructive, have poor impulse control and despise most people. Plus, I’ve got papers stating I’m crazy so I can tear up whatever I want and not go to jail
It’s not being pretentious if you can back it up!
At first, I was all, “I wanna shake this guy’s hand and buy him a beer!” Then I read the comments and now I just want to suck your dick because you are JUST THAT FUCKING AWESOME!
Call me?
Oh and to the naysayers – tell ya what, kids. You go put on a fur coat and do something to stop all that human sweating we do and YOU spend 10 minutes in a closed car in full sun in the middle of summer and tell me how it’s no big deal then. Mmmkay, jackasses? Yeah.