Living in a smaller town where the winter weather makes it hard to travel very far I am rather limited as far as shopping. Usually this is ok as most of the places that I need to are close. I avoid Walmart with all I have. I hate that nexus of the retarded, the morbidly obese (not just regular obese) and mouth-breathers. Walmart is terrible, bla bla and Ill write more about it later but this story isn’t about the store its the horror before I get in.
As usual the parking lot was a bittersweet melange of people that appear to be the cast from a zombie movie and folks that got off of the short bus. I drive slowly as to not hit the 1951 Hudson parked in two handicapped spaces. I pass the VW buss with the broken windows covered with cardboard. I finally park and walk in.
I was at this store a few weeks ago when the weather was a bit more pleasant. This time I am greeted by a sign that states no shoes, no shirt no service. WTF, I haven’t seen those in decades. Why you ask? Because people know better. What kind of mindless troglodytes are you catering to that you need to remind them to wear footwear and cover the Iron Maiden tatt on their nipple?
Sweat feathery Buddha, its 10 degrees outside. Do people just want to get all freaky at Walmart. Does the low prices engender stripping. Do the red vests just make people randy.
Yes they do.
I shopped for laundry detergent and kitchen garbage bags. I did this sans shirt. I will not apologize, for it was sexy and dare I say liberating.
They should change the sign to..
No deodorant, No mouthwash, No service.
Mainly because everybody things walmart is the lazy place to go. Shopping in the pj’s or sweaty gym gear. It’s a nasty thing I tell ya. Especially those big burly guys in them jersey shirts. Then things accentuate the B.O. well enough to make me pass the heck out if they walk by me. Oy! lol
I bow to your experience with Walmart. You are well schooled in the odorous arts!
My lord. I think we must live in the same town. Wal Mart is the dank, cold loincloth of the devil.
This is what happened to me there at Christmas:
http://sassafrasjunction.wordpress.com/2008/12/06/dreaming-of-a-mutant-free-christmas/
Hilarious blog! Glad you came by.
WalMart is the nexus of white trash and penny pinching.
I drive a nexus
If you have a full mouth of teeth, fewer than 7 tattoos and 5 kids, you shouldn’t be allowed to shop at WalMart.
I have a special exemption due to the fact that I have visible scars.
Hi there, Ive stumbled this website several times and while I quickly read the entries and move along (like any finicky stumbler should) I must say that I have grown quite fond of Project Kickass, and I shall do what I can to subscribe and return. Not just hope you might be my next stumble page.
Thumbs up and thanks for the giggle.
Thank you, glad I could make you smile.
Elitist Asshole! I’m not a big fan of Wal-Mart myself. I’m more of a Target kind of guy. But this sounds like a load of hate mongering to me. We can’t make fun of the blacks and jews anymore so we make fun of the lower class, and red-necks. Fuck You!
Thank you for the kind words! I love the fact that that you decry me for being a hate monger (I like to think of myself as a hate enthusiast) yet take great pains to point out you are a “Target kind of guy”.
Now while I’m not hip to your gay lingo, I do love the fact you hyphenate aplenty.
Yours in hate,
Chris
ehh.. thanks )