In my long search to entertain America (mostly the 7 readers here, Hi mom) I have devised a first date ritual that may not only impress the ladies but bewilder and confuse them at the same time. I don’t know why I think that ladies want to be bewildered but a true Star Wars chick cant help but be impressed by this(my Monte Python idea went down in flames).

The rule is very simple, you can only respond to her by using lines from Star Wars(from the 80’s, the new ones are awful but use what you can).

Her- Thank you for taking me to a nice restaurant I’m a bit upset that you are late.

You- I can feel your anger it gives you focus, it makes you stronger!

Her- I fear that I don’t get your meaning but thank you for acknowledging that. » Read the rest of this entry «

When I lived in Spokane a few years ago I ran this ad as a goof. I still get replies, 213 so far. To answer your questions I never answered any replies as most freaked me out and yes I am a total tool.

——–

I will give you what no other can.

A paper hat! » Read the rest of this entry «

-You, me, here… this couldn’t be any better if I programmed the holodeck myself!

-Your mouth says, ‘Shields up!’, but your eyes say, ‘A hull breach is imminent.’

-Honey, you’ve been looking for love in Alderaan places!

-I may look like an Ewok, but I’m all Wookie where it counts, baby.

-What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this when there’s a Farscape marathon on right now on the Sci Fi channel.

-I’ve been told I have the cool sexual prowess of a Romulan.

-Once you make love to a man with Vulcan ears on you never go back.

-How ’bout I slip into something more comfortable… like these STAR TREK VOYAGER pajamas! » Read the rest of this entry «

“You are left handed too, cool”!

That’s what I hear as often as “your handwriting is horrible”. I was born right handed but because of nerve damage I had to learn to use my left and thus my handwriting is not great. Very legible but not great.

Most people are very impressed that I can even write with the left and unbeknownst to me there seems to be a super secret club for left handers. They will come up to me and ,with a wink , laud my south-pawery.

They were born left handed and I chose to be left handed. I’m like their right hemisphere of the brain golden child. » Read the rest of this entry «