Dearest single ladies of the greater Phoenix area,

As I peruse the internet I happened upon a website called Craigslist and there is a section within that site call Missed Connections where the love-lorn and the star-crossed may leave a binary shout out to their unrequited loves. As I browsed I was struck by the strange absence of my name or postings asking for me. I thought this to be just a mistake as I am pretty awesome. I surmised that you are not descriptive enough in your posts as to catch my attention so, to that end, I have written a Missed Connection for you to use so that you may garner my attention better. » Read the rest of this entry «

Ok, I know it was a strange first meeting but at least you’ll have a story to tell your girlfriends.

I was at the corner mini-mart after work to get my post work soda. I was parked in the second to last slot. I usually take the farthest slot so that no one can sneak up behind me (its a partially deaf thing, I can’t tell where sound is coming from and in noisy environments I try to avoid any embarrassments).

I was bent over with the passenger door open cleaning the trash from the passenger side.

That’s when it happened. » Read the rest of this entry «

There’s no two ways about it, I have red fever. I’m not sure when it started or how started, but it is an illness that I now recognize and have to live with.

I am in love with red hair. It does not matter if it is naturally red or some shade of red, it sets my teeth on edge.

Flo from Progressive, I love you.
Scully from the X files reruns. You rock.

Part of this new found illness is that I don’t differentiate between true redheads and the chemically altered, they are all bewitching.

The girl at the convenience store, rock on.

The chick at the bank with the pink hair, see you on Friday.

The funky chick at my work with the crazy streaks, shine on you crazy diamond.

You all made Roy G Biv your bitch and I love you for it!

I see you a few times a week, albeit through the drive up window but we still have our thrice weekly date nights. I attempt to dazzle you with Spanglish and you smile. You always smile, I can never tell if this is truly a warm greeting or its a defense mechanism that you have to hide your tenuous hold on the English language. Either way, I’m ok with this.

I always order the same thing and you always ask me to repeat my self. I re-order in Spanish and wonder why I hadn’t ordered in Spanish to start with. I make a mental note to do this next time. I have made the same note many times and then forget the very next time that I drive through, I guess it is a process. » Read the rest of this entry «