I haven’t spoken to my brother in 20 years, not really. Not that we dont converse weekly, its that there is no transfer of actual content of any meaningful nature. Not sure how this all began but we both seem content to leave things as they are.

“Hello?”

“Yes, hi Chris it is your brother”

“You know I have caller ID right?”

“Yes I am aware of that”
» Read the rest of this entry «

Middle age said hello to me today.

Well not middle, I was told by a fortune teller at the Renaissance Fair that I will only live untill 70 or so and seeing that my basic math skills are poor and I tend to round up I think my argument is valid.  I don’t go in for all the hocus-pocus scooby-doo mystery stuff but she was a full-on Gypsy. Maybe she was just from Austria, either way she was mysterious and had a cool accent and I was drunk.

I digress. » Read the rest of this entry «

It has been very warm the last few days. All the compacted snow that is middle of the street is slowly turning to slush. My Nemesis and I haven’t dueled for a while. There’s just no snow.

At midday I drive to Costco to get my favorite treat, a hotdog.

As I return my eyes widen as I witness him shoveling the ice from the street directly in front of his house . WTF? Nobody does this, its stupid and just plain wrong. I cant imagine, in my wildest dreams doing something so silly and truly odd. Standing in the middle of the street on shoveling ice and slush while avoiding the odd car that might pass. Its the kinda thing that brings the police and gets you a 72 hour vacation at the state hospital. Have I driven him to this? Have my taunts and stink eyes pushed him over the edge? » Read the rest of this entry «

AS I put on my custom made uniform( its a poorly crafted knock off of the character the shoveler from the movie “Mystery Men”) I check the temperature and play the theme from Rocky to get myself prepared for today’s battle. As I venture into the cold I see that the warmer than normal weather has turned any snow that remains to a icy slush. A slush that will soon melt and trickle off. Now a normal person not involved in this struggle against mother nature would just let it melt.

Not me, I must defend my tittle as snow-master of Wilow street. This is a title that I was born to maintain. Now I’m not saying that I’m Neo, I’m not “the one” nor am I the golden child that will fight the forces of evil.

I’m just saying. » Read the rest of this entry «